A crow with one eye is staring rudely at the girlfriend of a British sailor as the couple eat lunch at an outdoors cafe. The bird is really staring at a crumb from a pastrie that has fallen on her breast, but the sailor, who has swallowed a bit too much saltwater in his day, doesn't take kindly to the crow's gawking and sqwacking.
He'll defend her honor, to the death!
But in an English non-confrontational way. Write the scene without the sailor actually interacting with the crow.
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